Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other harms. Also you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age difference, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I am sure typically though it is only the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is not here, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.